Wednesday, February 27, 2013

You asked me what?

Dear Pretend Goddess,
I have been dating a great guy for over six months. He's met my parents but I haven't met his. Normally, I wouldn't think anything of it because his family lives out of town. However, his parents have visited at least three times and never a mention of an introduction. They're coming for a visit next month and I think I should meet them. I do have thoughts that he's the one but when he is keeping an important part of himself hidden from me, I think perhaps I'm not his one. 

A Well, You may not be his one. I do think that if he's met your parents, then you should meet his. Or do I really think that? Hmm. I'm not sure. If you pushed your parents on him two weeks after your first week together then I'd tell your boyfriend to run for the hills. If that's not the case and well, even if that were the case, the man is still with you. 
Have you asked why you haven't met his parents? When he plans on making such an introduction? Without knowing the full relationship I can only make assumptions. Maybe he felt he met your parents too soon, he moves at a different pace, doesn't want his girlfriend to meet his parents until the relationship reaches a certain level, OR you're not the one and he's keeping you around for the sake of just dating you. 
I'm not saying it's the last one. Ask him. A heads up though, evasive answers tend to be more telling than not. Do not come at him with guns firing though and don't sound accusatory. For example, "You've met my family. Why haven't I met yours?" "Am I not important enough to you?" 
You know the real question is if you're the one for him. Does your boyfriend see a future with you? And it makes you think not, when he doesn't make the parental introductions. 
So calmly (I beg), ask. At a certain age and any age, your time is more valuable and it isn't fair for it to be wasted by someone who doesn't see or know if there is a future. However, if you're say in your twenties, then relax. You don't need to be thinking about "the one" yet. 
I assure you after six months though, he knows where the relationship is going or where it won't be going. Understand? Again, calmly ask. If the answer is what you want to hear, then let him know that you'd like to meet his parents. do I put this delicately?...don't be that girl. Try not to come across as the desperate girl who just wants to get to the altar. 

Q I'm thinking of getting eye lash extensions. What are your thoughts about them? 

A Not a huge fan of them as an everyday look. I can tell more times than not when someone has eyelash extensions. You don't want people to know you're wearing fake lashes. Well, maybe you do but you shouldn't. If you're getting them for a special event or if you really don't have any lashes then I'll give you my go ahead. Otherwise, I don't like them. If you must, get the "mascara look." Stay away from the dramatic or extreme looks. Too intense looking and quite frankly, will cheapen your look. 
There are products that your doctor can prescribe if you are lacking in the lash department. Talk to your doctor about your options. You'll save money in the long run. 
Now, when you go to your spa for those fake lashes, please bring a picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt with you. Let your technician know you don't want that look. 
*If you are an escort, showgirl, "dancer," or don't have any lashes, then by all means carry on with those extensions. 

Jennifer Love Hewitt's tarantula eyes

 I'm a brunette and thinking of going blonde for the Spring and Summer. I can't afford to go to a salon every month for the upkeep. I'm going to color it myself at home. What at home color kits do you recommend?

A I don't. If you can't afford to maintain, don't do it. You're not just talking about coloring, you're talking about bleaching. That's a whole different game.
Leave it to the professionals. You'll fry your hair and cause serious breakage if you don't know what you're doing. If you have to ask which "kits" to use, you don't know what you're doing. It's a process to go from dark to light. 

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